Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
