sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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