have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize