I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize