i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
