Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
