Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
