if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
