I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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