Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
