if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
