I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
