I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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