Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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