How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
