I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
