you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
