I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
