brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
