why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
