I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize