they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize