That's intense
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize