Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
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