make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
