After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
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i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
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I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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