she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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