Cold hands, warm shart.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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