I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
