that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
