I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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