2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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