I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
