Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
