When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
