i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Randomize
