Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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