finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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