arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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