ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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