Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
