I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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