I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
