I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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