please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
