Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We don't watch enough power rangers
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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