the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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