You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Everyone says I win the strip club
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
