I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
