Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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