did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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