That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
