At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
