I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
