im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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