I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
This baby is an asshole
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.