Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Your tits are I can't wait for
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?