How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
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Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
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Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.