how can u be prego again
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Randomize
