i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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