Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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