oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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