Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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