oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I accidentally burped into my bong.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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